Welcome to the Sword of Sure podcast. Where doubt looms, fear whispers, and the only way forward is through. I'm Samar Carbo and if you've ever felt like you're just sort of sure about what you're doing, you're not alone. This is where we face the uncertainty. Push past the hesitation and keep going anyway way. So take a breath, step in, and let's move forward together. Welcome to the Sword of Shore podcast. As you may have heard in the beginning, this is Samar Carbo. I am so glad you've joined us here today. Some eagle eyed listeners, eagle eared listeners, whatever that is, will notice this is a very different conversation than I normally have. It goes to the metaphysical. We talk about just broad ranging things, but as guests come on, we go to their house and we wipe our feet on the way in and thank them on the way out. I encourage you not to skip this episode. There's some really, really good stuff in here. Laura Giles is a animist, a social worker, and just an all around super calm and centering person. So I can't wait for you to hear this episode. If you have a story to tell, shoot me an email ortofsurepodmail.com let's have a listen.

Well, my name is Laura Giles and I'm into tons of things. I'm a very curious person and I do lots of healing, natural healing things, travel, metaphysics. My thing that I'm focusing on right now is paranormal PTSD recovery and just helping people to be healthy.

Absolutely lovely. And there's of course, certainly I've never heard of a couple of those things, but what stuck out to me was the paranormal healing.

Was it paranormal PTSD recovery?

PTSD recovery. Would you mind just talking about that a little bit, just so I have some context?

Sure. So professionally I'm a trauma therapist and I've always had clients who have paranormal issues, but it's something that a lot of people don't talk about. And so we might have been in a relationship for like a year or something before somebody ever says something about, you know, I was visited by aliens or I got scared to death in my grandma's basement by some ghost or something like that. And it has always been a part of what I do, but lately it has become more prevalent, I think maybe because there's a lot more TV shows about it and people are talking about it more, but it's definitely something that impacts people.

Wow.

That is. And I think that really covers a portion of social work, of therapy that I thought was missing because so much judgment comes with it. Sometimes people want you to stay in a certain box so that you can heal. And I mean, one of my favorite podcasts that I listen to is Sasquatch Chronicles.

Oh.

So. So I hear people and, and what, what comes down to it is I think of it the same way as I think of the Bible. Why do you care if it existed, if it happened? The point is that it tells, it tells a story. And these people are hurting and you can hear it in their voices, the fear that they, that they felt in the moment and they relive it when.

They tell the story.

That's PTSD as far as I've heard.

Absolutely. Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't, I don't care if, you know, somebody else believes it or not, but I have always been the person, especially when I worked in the psych hospital because now these people have been detained and all my co workers around me is like, these people are delusional. Let's medicate them. I always believe them. I don't know if they're telling the truth. I don't know, I don't know. But they believe it's true. And I think we have to start from that perspective.

That is such a beautiful perspective. Well, I think so anyway. Have you carried this from personal experiences where you weren't believed, or was it spontaneous or from study?

So I'm an animist, and that means that I believe that everything is alive, sacred and connected. And I've been an animus since birth. I was born into that. So it's the belief in the supernatural. And a relationship with the supernatural has always been a part of my life. So it just makes sense that not everything is love and light. And there are some scary things. Even when it's not a bad thing. It can be really scary if you don't know what's going on. So for somebody to say, I had an encounter with something, it could be aliens, it could be whatever it is, totally. Of course that can happen. So I'm open minded. And you know, sometimes it is delusional, but most of the times it's not.

And of course, you know, you've studied quite a lot, so that answers part of the question itself. But how do you tell the difference? Or do you need to. Does it even matter?

What I'm looking at is the nervous system, and the nervous system is responding to something. Now sometimes people will realize, oh, that was nothing. That was my grandma, that was, you know, that was my imagination. But the fear is still real. And the nervous system still needs to be regulated. Or sometimes it opens a can of worms. Like, oh, my God, there's this horrible thing. I don't know how to deal with this. This is exploding my worldview. What do I do with this? And sometimes it can go down a deep rabbit hole, but, you know, it goes where it goes, and I think people need to lean into it to get to some closure and acceptance with it. And that's what I help people do.

And do you tend to get people when they're still really battling with the reality of a situation or once they come to you, are they. Pretty much this is what happened to me, and I'm not. I don't need convincing that I need to believe myself.

Still, most of the people come for that. It's typically when they've been in working with me for a while and they start to feel comfortable that they're just like, maybe I can tell you this thing. And then we kind of stumble into that. Even though, you know, I have a podcast on it and it's out there. Most people don't come for that. It's one of those things. I'm never telling a soul about this thing.

Okay, that makes sense. I mean, it. Trust is part of the process, and once you've gained it, then the floodgates open, I'm sure.

Yeah.

And you do retreats and workshops. Are they on this topic?

Sometimes. So most of them. So I started out in spiritual travel, and I've been doing that for over 20 years, and then have recently gotten into this thing that I'm calling Honey, I'm home. The Honey I'm home is about just providing a safe place for people to be in community with other people without having to have a mask on. And I started doing that because we're doing it anyway when we're in retreat or when we're traveling. But there's so many people who don't have that don't know what it is. They don't even know to ask for it because they don't even know that it exists. And so many people on retreat have said that about the experience, and I think that's one of the components to healing, too. So not only do you have to heal your nervous system, but you have to have a vision of what healthy looks like so that you can create it in your own life.

That's great. And hearing that, just hearing how you describe it, and I mean, clearly you're well practiced.

These.

These things, when we do them properly, are well practiced. So that's Great. But hearing you describe it, you're so calm and so Zen. That's something you carry with you or is that something you import from elsewhere?

No, no, that. That's me 24 7. It has gotten better over time and it's become more inclusive. So it used to be that this was something that I would have with just my inner circle. But through the work of moon circles, I have felt safe enough with other people to just let it be the everyday.

Now you've mentioned that animism is a belief. Everything is. I believe it was alive, sacred and connected. That feels big. It is big, small in the face of all that.

I think that's, for me, that's kind of the point is to remember that smallness, but also the bigness, because it can make life more meaningful, it can put things into perspective. I really like being a part of something so huge because then whatever happens, it's really not that big of a deal.

You know, it's so great. And I run across many people. I enjoy exploring the delirium tremens, the just thing behind the thing in the world. And I find often that people are very uncomfortable when I start to bring up things that are infinitely large or infinitely small. And I find that that is certainly not part of your DNA. Is that natural or did you have to grow that?

I've always been a real big picture person and it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. So I had a near death experience where I got to really feel what that was like, the infinite, the bigness. And since then, you know, all the stuff that we deal with as humans is really small, small stuff. And I don't see that to put down anybody's suffering. I think it's more of a perspective thing to me. We just worry about so many small things. We live in fear, we create from fear and it just perpetuates the smallness. And I think it. Well, you know, anybody who's had a near death experience, they talk about how none of the stuff we go through matters on the big picture. And if we live from that space, I think we would, would just create so many beautiful things. It's all possible. We just don't do it.

Oh, that's wonderful. And I had a guest on his name, Ten Lyons, I believe it was episode 10. And he mentions having conversation with someone else who had had a near death experience. And that was something that. It almost brings a fear in itself that why aren't any of these people afraid? One thing that just disappears now, they don't Fear death because they felt. And that's the two big things that I see that make people much bigger philanthropists and much more humanists. And is near death experience and being able to see the curve of the earth going high enough to see that. And those two moments just. You realize we're so small we don't have to fight over traffic anymore.

Yeah, yeah.

As I'm kind of looking, I wonder if you wouldn't mind discussing how you came across that near death experience.

Oh. So I had bronchitis and I didn't think it was a big deal. I was functioning. And then I was out taking care of the animals in the morning and I just felt so tired and I needed to lay down and I was out before I even got. I don't remember how I got to the bed, but I got to the bed and the next thing I knew, I couldn't breathe. I had no energy and I was just gone, gone. And I was in a different reality. And it's all of my connection with spirit is metaphorical or symbolic. I've never had grandma come and say, now be careful on the way to work now, you know, never. None of that. It's more like a dream state. And there's a thing that happens that I know that it's not a dream. But anyway, it was like that symbolic. And what I kept getting from it was that it is a wheel. We just keep going around and around, doing the same stuff until we're done and we're tired. And I said to myself, you know, as I'm observing this, I was kind of observing it. I was also in it. I was like, this is stupid. I'm bored. And as soon as I had that thought, I was out of it. And then the strangest thing. So I'm not a Christian, but I saw Jesus. I saw the crucifixion. I not only saw it, but like the other scene, I was also in it. I was Jesus. I was everybody who was there. I was the whole thing. And the story is not the story. It's not the way that they. They tell it. And. And it was just such a profound experience. I can't even really put it into words because of that whole bigness thing. All of this was way bigger than. Than a human can contain or explain. It's beyond our language. It's beyond our understanding. But it was like, wow, okay. And then I went to the space that wasn't the source, but it was very close to the source. And I felt my almost oneness. I felt my Almost. And I say almost because there was still something else that wasn't me. So I knew that it wasn't source, but it was close. And then I had this choice to do I want to go back or do I want to stay? And that was a choice, too. I could go back. And I thought to myself, who want to go back to that? It's so limiting. It's like, you know, you're. You're a whole person. Do you want to be a strand of hair? It's a ridiculous question, but here I am with my. My human vanity. And I said, I don't want anybody to find my body like that because we lost my brother suddenly. And it was so painful that I didn't want anybody to have to deal with that. And as soon as I had that thought, I was back in my body. And I know that it wasn't a dream or because my hand was on my thigh and it didn't even feel like a leg. It was very cold, and I felt cold from the inside out. It didn't. It felt like. It felt like death. It felt kind of rubbery and not like a person. It was weird. And I couldn't breathe. I had to think about breathing. I couldn't get enough air in my lungs. So the coldness, the air couldn't get. Couldn't breathe. I had to think about it. It took, like, three days for me to get back into my body. I was, like, half in and half out. And that continued for a while, but three days for sure. And when I came back, I didn't have bronchitis anymore, which was so strange. I could breathe clearly, but it just. I wasn't getting enough air in my lungs.

Wow. That is intense.

Crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I don't know if I'd use.

The word crazy in a sense, I. But I certainly see how. How disorienting. Do you. Were you already, at this point, a social worker and everything?

Oh, yeah. This was not too long ago. This was.

Oh, this is recent.

Yeah.

Oh, boy. So then was this something that helped you? How did it affect your life afterwards?

I. So I've never been suicidal, and I work with death. I work as a home funeral officiant and facilitator because I think that transitioning into this life and out of it is super, super important. But I just. I wasn't suicidal at all. But I just really didn't want to be here. I really didn't want to be here. And it's been kind of hard since then to be a human. I'VE changed since then, and I can't really tell you how, but there are things about me that are just fundamentally different. Things that I used to care about, but I don't care about anymore. Yeah. It makes me really sad. And to see all the suffering and to know that it is a choice. And I hate to say that to people who are really suffering, they're like, how can you say that about me? I'm not choosing this on the big picture that I've seen it. We do choose it. We're all powerful, and we don't. Because of trauma. We don't even see it. We can't see it. Our brains are inhibiting us from healing.

Yeah. And to see kind of that learned helplessness or repeating traumas that we understand instead of going out into those new. What we don't knows is really tough to watch. But. And you know, I say this to myself all the time. I'm sure you do as well. We have to let people live their own lives.

Of course.

When you do that, because you're helping people and you're still really mired in seeing kind of the worst of what happens to people, does it help at all to be in community?

Oh, gosh, yes. I think that's so we. Trauma is not what happens to us. It's how we process what happens to us. And being separated from community is what allows it to happen. Because something really bad can happen to me. And if I'm supported and loved and I feel heard, then it doesn't become traumatizing. So I think that community piece. I've been doing trauma work for a long time, but, you know, we work one on one. And how are you supposed to heal when you go back to the same traumatic community that created the conditions for the trauma to happen in the first place?

Yeah. That's near impossible.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because it becomes a choice of you or me. You being the community that I love. And then I'm grounded in now.

Do you have habits that help you keep this maintained this attitude of. I want to call it Zen, but I know that's a different belief, but calm.

I think it's the same things that other healthy people do. You know, I try to eat well, sleep routinely, stay in community. It's the same things. It's nothing special. I'm not like, doing meditation for two hours a day or anything like that. Yeah.

Okay, great. So that makes it achievable. That's awesome.

Yeah, for sure. For sure. I don't think I'm special at all. I think everybody can have this. I have the same DNA as every other human. It's nothing special.

Is there a piece of advice that you would have for someone who is currently in the throes of imposter syndrome or self doubt, and they want to get where you are, but they're doubting themselves. They do think you're special.

Well, I think trauma therapy is a really good thing. I know there's lots of things that can help people and, you know, if you find that thing, great. But there are two components why I say trauma therapy is, one is you have to have the skills to maintain healthy life. If I do some voodoo, and I don't mean that literally, but I do some quick healing techniques, and you're just like, wow, I feel so much better. You're not going to be able to sustain it if you don't have the skills. So I think skills are really important. And then you got to do that voodoo, that trauma work, to get rid of the energetic trigger that is. Is upsetting the apple cart, because you can have all the skills that you want and you're trying to muscle through with your. Your brain and saying, well, I'm just going to do this, I'm just going to do that. But we are living in our bodies and we do have to do what our brain says. And when that trigger goes off, then all of those skills are not going to save you from having that meltdown. So I think whatever you do, even if it's not trauma therapy, it has to cover those two components and then the community piece, because that's how we thrive. Humans are meant to be communal. Having a friend, a good friend, not a frenemy, makes all the difference in the world. You only need one.

I love that. And that's a perfect place to end on. Laura, it has been a distinct pleasure speaking with you. I didn't think the conversation would go the way it did, but I'm so glad it did.

Me too.

Bye now.

Bye. Bye.

Wow, what a conversation. Like I mentioned, it is different from our normal conversation that we have on this podcast, but truly, truly so good. And hopefully you were able to glean the awesome habits and skills that Laura shared from her story. And when I asked point blank, but I know, right? I didn't even mention imposter syndrome until it was nearly over. This podcast is about moving through imposter syndrome, not about glorifying it or about staying there. It's about us, you and me, being able to move forward despite the fact that imposter syndrome may be trying to slow us down, despite the fact that self doubt is rearing its ugly head. Tiffany was really helpful for me because I'm kind of in the midst of sort of a health scare, you know, the baby health scare. And, you know, there are specialists mentioned and, you know, possible scary specialists involved. And as I'm hearing all of this, what. What are my first thoughts? Is it that this is scary? Is it of my daughters? No, my first thought was not of my family and. And what the scary things might mean. My first thought was, I'm not an inspirational enough person to get this sick. I'm not special enough. And that, my friends, is an example, a perfect example of imposter syndrome getting in the way of someone living their life. Can you imagine someone thinking, I need to be more inspirational to be sick? It's absolutely ridiculous. But I share that bit of vulnerability with you so that you all understand that I'm not perfect either. And I don't share as much about myself. It's all about the guests, and I love that. But I struggle as well. But I keep moving forward, and you and I can continue to work together to make this a platform where everyone can learn or everyone can grow. And we all keep moving forward. But still, if you have a story to share, please reach out to [email protected] I'd love to hear from you later days.