Welcome to the sort of sure podcast where doubt looms, fear whispers, and the only way forward is through. I'm Samar Carbo, and if you've ever felt like you're just sort of sure about what you're doing, you're not alone. This is where we face the uncertainty. Push past the hesitation, and keep going anywhere. So take a breath, step in, and let's move forward together. Hello and welcome to the Sword of Shore podcast. As you may have guessed from the opening, my name is Samar Carbo and I am so excited to bring you the conversation that I had recently with Angela Maschuli. Before we get to that conversation though, if you've got a story of self doubt or imposter syndrome, shoot me an email at sort of surepodmail.com I can't wait to hear from you. Without further ado, here's Angela.

My name is Angela Machuli. I'm the host of the Good Enough Mompreneur podcast and I really focus on helping moms start and grow businesses to help them live life more on their terms. But I'm also a Reiki practitioner and I am a confidence coach. And I just really am so lit up by this idea of people living life on their own terms. And I was raised as an overachiever and had a very traumatic childhood. And so I was constantly trying to unconsciously out achieve my trauma to be, quote, unquote, good enough. So if I got the multiple degrees and certifications and the job and whatever and the accolades from my supervisors, then I was good enough. And at some point that just left me empty. And so I really had an identity crisis. There was a point at which my daughter's schedules were so busy I had to step back from my legal career and it was such a difficult time for me. I just stripped everything away of like what makes me feel worthy. What, you know, is being a mom enough? Is being a business owner enough? Is having a podcast enough? Like, what's enough? Yeah, to feel worthy. And so, yeah, absolutely creeped in, in my experience. But I think it's good, you know, you got to have those moments where you stop and reflect. What am I doing? What matters most to me? And you know, who am I?

What are those when you're feeling those not enough or you know, underachieve y feelings? What are those negative thoughts that pop into your head that sort of run on repeat?

So luckily now on my journey, I'm able to have that awareness. That awareness coupled with what I learned in a year long trauma therapy program that we also have to not judge ourselves on what we become aware of in ourselves. And so I'm able to catch myself. It's really hard to learn in the beginning when you're like, okay, why? What's triggering me? Why am I not feeling good enough? What is making me not feel confident in this moment? But then I'm also able to not judge myself on that. So that's a really incredible skill to learn. And so I became a certified confidence coach after I had a guest who made me feel unworthy to even interview them. And it helped me learn those certain thought patterns that we have, whether it's, you know, we're feeling, we're making, we make excuses, we tell ourselves stories about situations, why we're not achieving we want to achieve. And most often, it's always placing the blame outside ourselves. So coupled with the awareness and not judging myself, who's taking radical responsibility for my role and wherever I am. Right. So it's, it's a lot. It's heavy stuff. But, you know, when you, you're able to do that professionally as a parent, man, when you can take comments from your children that are like, mom, you should have done X, Y and Z and go, you know what? You're right.

Yeah. And not take it personally and not have it wrapped in your own childhood trauma.

I know I'm raising them well because that is not something I had the freedom or the space to do growing up, for sure.

Oh, and that is so, so important. Do you have any habits or just repeated skills that you do that keep you in that great head space to be able to receive all of this in love?

Yeah. You know, I love the word receive because, you know, I talk to so many women and my audience is so focused on women and. But I think everybody suffers from who is a people pleaser and an overachiever, not stopping to receive whatever it is, criticism, constructive criticism, love, help, advice, wisdom. But I think just that mindfulness part, that it's like a switch that is always turned on for me. And I'm. I constantly. And looking at a situation, what can I learn from this? And so just having those mindsets and having that awareness switch on and that mindfulness switch on just really change a situation. But I try to kind of live a life that is slower than most. That's just not for me.

You mentioned that you went through a year long. I think it was a confidence course.

Oh, it was a trauma therapy.

Trauma therapy.

Therapy. But I did go through a confidence coach course. Yeah.

So when you went through that so you said it was because of an interview that you did. Would you mind taking us through how that thought process went?

Yeah. The guests on my podcast had this interaction with me that I needed to own the success of my podcast at that point. And that really struck me. And because I really, I was still a relatively new podcast, I wasn't checking my numbers or downloads or anything. I still really don't. And it just really hit me like a laser beam, I don't know. Have you ever had those laser beam moments? That's what I call them. Just it changes your consciousness in that moment. And so that was a conversation I had. I was feeling unworthy to have her on my podcast and just, you know, traveled in celebrity circles and called me, you know, had our interview in the middle of the night in Thailand on vacation with her fiance. And I was just like, there are so many other things you could be doing right now with other people and you're having this conversation with me. Like, I just had a lot of gratitude. I have a gratitude for anybody who wants to have a conversation with me at any time. I mean, it was just like, what? So I knew in that moment I wanted to figure this out. Why does this happen? And you might have heard these kind of statements, new levels, new devils. It was a new level for me. I had overcome the lack of confidence that I to start my podcast and to start a business and to be seen as this authority figure. And I thought, oh, okay. And I was kind of comfortable and like, I'm confident and this person shows up and then just here's this whole other new level of like, you know, of self doubt that I hadn't experienced and didn't know existed or I would face. And so I wanted to understand it. So I took this, this course to not only understand it for myself, but help others to understand the, the typical thought patterns that kind of happen for, for those who have a lack of confidence.

Was that sort of your, you know, it was your line in the sand. No more lack of confidence ever again. Or did they just give you the tools to kind of continue a practice forward?

Yeah, and that's a really great question because it's so much of as a podcaster, as a business owner, as a coach, you are on a permanent self discovery, self expansion journey. And so there is no destination. And that's something we have to remind ourselves that there is. Every person. I've heard stories of, you know, Taylor Swift having moments of self doubt. I've heard stories of, you know, some of the Kardashians having self doubt in their businesses or some of the great Serena Williams. I think I recently saw an article about how she overcame self doubt at some pivotal moments in her sports career. And so that is another kind of goal of mine, is that we suffer in silence with our self doubt. And that's why I think this podcast is so important. Everybody suffers from it at all times, you know, potentially. And so we have to give ourselves those tools to help us figure it out, what we're supposed to learn and how. How do we get to that new level.

Yeah, and. And that's the. That's part of it. I mean, it can seem like a negative way of looking at it, but I think it's just. It's just sort of a warning. Would you say that you still deal with any self doubt today? That's just about different things.

Sure, absolutely. I definitely deal with self doubt at times. You know, we were talking about parenting. I have moments where even though I'm a confident parent, you know, I just had a daughter who graduated and it's like, I'm not pressuring her to go to a big school. I'm giving her the space to, like, find out what she likes to do. And, you know, it's like, am I doing the right thing? I know I am, deep down. But, you know, our brains are wired to protect us. And so, you know, the most important thing I've learned is, you know, that little voice, it's 99% of the time false and just fear. You know, I could just pop on social media for a hot second and just see other people who might in a visual seem like they're doing better and they're more happy or perky. You know, they're not in the middle of a move like I am, and they have all this energy. I mean, yeah, I'm sure that would give me some self doubt. Like, what is wrong with you?

Yeah, it's really hard when you're watching someone else's highlight reel and you're living your blooper reel, right?

Yeah. But you know what? We're all living our blooper reel all the time. I had this really great conversation a couple weeks ago on my podcast where we were talking about how we so eagerly pick up the yardsticks that other people try to hand us all the time. And if we just like, don't accept the yardstick or put it down immediately or as soon as we realize, like, it's their measure of success or happiness. When I'm feeling that self doubt, I think about you know, this other person or entity handing me a yardstick and me just putting it down.

Visualization. That's great.

Yeah, I love that. It is like literally putting a yardstick down and going, nope.

Oh, that's great. As I hear this and I think you'd have. I asked this of everyone, but I think you'll have a really good answer for this one. No pressure. My wonder is what advice would you have for someone who maybe wants to get to where you are in the coaching space? Maybe they're a mom and just overwhelmed at the moment and they're just in the throes of self doubt imposter syndrome. And what would you say to them?

I would say to them and that, you know, any success, like, I don't post my numbers. I don't post the number of clients I have. I don't post the number of hours I sleep or don't sleep. I don't post what's in my bank account or not in my bank account. So when it comes to your perception of somebody else's success, it's probably all like, you don't know what that really is. And so honestly, it's all an individual journey. Like, what is that success going to look like for you? Because what success for me may not look like success for anybody else. And so. And what makes me happy may not make anybody else happy. So just thinking about what we talked about in that Whose measuring stick are you using? You know, who's in and if it's anybody else's but your than your own, then I think you need to reevaluate. Don't. You just can't compare yourself to anyone. You can't. And the best thing that has ever led to more quote unquote success for me, which means more happiness, more emotional control, more freedom in my life to do what I want, when I want has come from getting to know myself, stopping the seeking and starting the knowing. And that's something I often talk about with my clients and other people. We're just on this track. There's never been a time where we've had more proliferation of more information. But we know ourselves the least. And I think that's truly what leads to the lack of fulfillment, lack of confidence. And it's just not being confident and being who you are and realizing that that is enough.

Oh, I love that. Be who you are and that's enough.

It has to be.

Right? Because there's no one else you can't upgrade or downgrade.

Right. And people are like, well, what's my niche. What's my you are you. That's your niche. Nobody else can do what you do the way you do it, whatever path you're on, wherever you're trying to get to. Because we're all on this journey to hopefully be in a more expansive person and have a more expansive consciousness. But really, you know, it's not a destination. It's really the journey that we're supposed to focus on and kind of be present in the moment and understand what's important to us and realize what our own measuring stick is and stop looking for all those external things that we think give us the fulfillment, the house, the car, the whatever, and start looking inwardly for all of those answers. Because we have it all inside of us and we're constantly looking outside of us for all of those answers, but we have them all along.

That's great.

That is my mission. Whether you're a mother or parent or not, I think that that is that thought process is what's going to lead to a world of better humans.

That's beautiful. Thank you so much.

Yeah, thanks for having me on the podcast. It's been great talking to you and happy Father's Day.

Early Angela, this has been a blast. You have a great rest of your day.

All right. You too. Thanks so much.

Have a great day. Thank you. Bye now.

Bye.

What a fun conversation with Angela Machuli, mompreneur, Reiki practitioner, podcast host. All the awesome things that she does, please check her out. I will put some of her information in the show notes. If anything we talked about today touched a chord with you, feel free to wherever you listen to this podcast, drop five stars and share it with a friend so that other people can know nobody was built in a lab. We all go through self doubt. Everybody has imposter syndrome and we can share our stories with anyone. As Angela said, be who you are and that's enough. If you have a story of self doubt or imposter syndrome that you want to share, shoot me an email at sort of surepodmail.com I would love to hear from you. That does it for me. Later days.