Welcome to the Sword of Sure podcast. Where doubt looms, fear whispers, and the only way forward is through. I'm Samar Carbo, and if you've ever felt like you're just sort of sure about what you're doing, you're not alone. This is where we face the uncertainty. Push past the hesitation and keep going anywhere way. So take a breath, step in, and let's move forward together.

Hello and welcome to the Sort of Shore podcast. In case you missed it in the beginning that I'm going to change soon, I know it's a little outdated and I know the sound is kind of bad, but. But I have not changed it yet, but I will soon. Anyway, in case you missed it in the beginning, my name is Samar Carbo. So in case you missed it through these last few episodes, we're not doing the interview style for a little bit here. Stick with me. We got this this week, then next week of this kind of thing, and then we're moving back to the interviews as many of you have come to enjoy. But we've been going through a few questions, some ideas that I like experimenting with, and from your emails, I'd say it's going pretty well. Speaking of emails, if you have a story of imposter syndrome or self doubt you'd like to be interviewed about or have me talk about on the show, shoot me an email at sort of surepodmail.com that's sort of surepodmail.com so what are we going to talk about today and why does it matter? Well, why does it matter is a much longer answer. But I'm wondering what does it mean to arrive in life? What does it mean to belong somewhere when you're not being loud or you're not super visible? Because I know a lot of the guests that I have on this show are of either a more boisterous nature or somebody who's, who has a platform, somebody who's been out there talking to, you know, the movers and the shakers and they've got shows going and they've been in this biz for 10, 20, 30 years, whatever, 50 years for one retired person. And it's just a completely different life than 90% of people because the fact remains, and I'm gonna mess that up, right? But I'm gonna. I don't know this actual statistic in my head, but I heard it once, that 90% of people are consuming while 10% of people are producing. That goes for YouTube, that goes for blogs, that goes for podcasts, even though it Seems like everyone has one. That goes for every bit of media we have. 10% of people are going to produce while 90% of people are going to consume. Now, does that mean anything about the, does it mean anything about the personhood, about the significance or you know what? I really like significance of the person who is either producing or consuming. And I would say that all kinds exist in both camps. It doesn't mean either one is more virtuous than the other. Right. Unless we're actively hurting other people so that we may live. I don't think there's anything that lacks virtue in either position. But let's look at it, right? So success, a lot of people look at that 10% as the successful part. But there's plenty of people who are in the 90% who are living their version of success or even the same version of success as the 10%. They're just not as loud about it. Right. A lot of times success is defined by the followers, the money being really busy. But if you stopped moving, you could still, still feel successful. I mean, so let me give you a story to talk about this. So I mentioned on the podcast it was quite some time ago that I was going through a sort of health scare. And I don't mind talking about it, it's a little gross. But I had a problem with, let's say tummy trouble. And I really didn't know what was causing it. I think I, I think it started because I had a month's worth. So I'm lactose intolerant and I was just looking around, I thought I'd found a hack or a new brand that would work for my family of protein because I have a smoothie me and my daughter, my wife will have. Obviously the three year old, not the seven month old, will have a smoothie every morning, you know, every morning that I feel like it and they feel like it and it has protein in it. It's got fruit, it's got yogurt, it's got all this good stuff. Now I use non dairy ingredients because I'm lactose intolerant. We switched because I went shopping from the vegan protein that we were using to a whey protein now to this company. I don't know what company it was, but it was a Costco item and it was prominently on this, on this jar or bottle or whatever it is. They're very large tub of protein is very prominent on there. It said whey. It said that on there in a few different places. But I didn't look at the front. I didn't look at the ingredients. I looked at the nutritional facts, and I saw, wow, it's less calories, it's more protein, and it's cheaper. Are you kidding me? It's going home with me. So that's. That was where that flub began. And then just about every single day for either three weeks or a month, I have a smoothie, and I have just the worst tummy trouble that I have probably ever had in my life. And I'm starting to get concerned. I'm like, what is. What in the world is this from? And my very intelligent wife says, well, you changed a few things about your diet, but really, it's just the protein. What's in that? Maybe it has milk. And I thought, oh, well, I really doubt it. I picked this stuff. Well, it absolutely had milk, milk and milk byproducts and milk accessories and extra milk in it. It was so dangerous for me. And so I went to see a doctor, and the doctor was confused that it persisted because, of course, I waited three months to go see a doctor, and she sent me for tests, and then I went for more tests, and then another test and then another doctor and then a third doctor. In the end, they thought they wanted me to take a couple of months off, then do a blood test. And this doctor mentioned the word cancer, and that was an issue for me. And I thought, you know, well, maybe. Maybe it's a good thing that I did all of this, you know, because we found the cancer and I'm going to be okay, you know, psyching yourself up, like we all do. And the. But the only thing, right, so. And it ended up everything was fine. You know, to put a short point on a very long story, everything was fine. I didn't end up having any lasting issues apart from still being lactose intolerant. I had a little bit of colitis, which is a swelling of your colon, and that led to a bunch of other issues, but that has gone away. No longer anemic or any of that crazy stuff. But the only thing that kept my head on straight was that I wasn't loud about it. I wasn't trying to stay insanely busy. I wasn't trying to be anything in particular. I was just trying to continue to live life. I'm still putting out podcast episodes. I'm still writing my blog for my one business. I'm still putting out content for my other business. I'm still being a father. I'm still being a husband. All of these things. I'm still Being a friend, I wasn't going out far because obviously I had to be near a bathroom for a while, but I was still going and hanging out with friends and. And this was about not just staying busy. This was about living the life that I lived before. And it's not to try and be the person I was before. It's so that I can keep my head straight. And I find that so helpful for me as a person that when I have some craziness going on, that static exists. Where that static is, I don't bring it everywhere. And I think this stillness that I carry with me, it feels countercultural, right? Almost like failure in a world that's obsessed with doing something and being something big and loud and boisterous and. And almost like I, I couldn't share myself. But you know, in my brain, I wasn't, I didn't have anything to share. I, I had conjecture, you know, and I certainly did talk with some very close, some people very close to me about my concerns of what this could be. But of course, you know, this ended up as nothing. Oh, man. And I had motto at the same time. It was wild. It was a wild few months. But, but I, I got past that. We're here. I am able to stay awake for a few, few hours at a time. It's great. But I can tell you that in, even in the hardest of moments where I was really down on myself, I was really wishing I hadn't made that mistake with the way that lasted for a very long time. When I paused and felt uneasy in that it wasn't that I felt like I was falling behind, but it still remains in my brain that so many people do. And it doesn't have to be with a health issue. We can just be thinking about where we are in life, right? How many times have we looked at somebody who doesn't fill their entire day with stuff and things and thought, wow, lazy, right? Because we are in a season of our lives when we're moving. I think I find it as an underlying fact of people that we want other people to be living in life the same way that we are. Because why would we have incongruence? Right? Why does, why wouldn't anybody want to live their life the same way I do? I'm doing it, Right? Right. Stillness isn't laziness. Stillness is mastery in some cases. Right? Knowing when to stop, when to think, when to hit the reset button or the chill out button is true mastery. I know a lot of times I, with, I've worked with Coaching clients or I've been leading a workshop or lots of different things that helps me connect this. So clarity and rest often precede the biggest breakthroughs I have ever seen. A lot of times you're giving homework when you're in the sorts of businesses I'm in. And telling somebody just to take a day off, truly a day off has changed their lives because you would not believe how many functioning adults are fraying at the edges just because they could not slow down. But then if we have that, how can we know? How can we possibly know when we've made it, right? And I think there's a certain person, a certain type of person who would never know, right, who's whose. Imposter syndrome and self doubt force them to continually move the goal post. It's impossible to reach a goal that keeps moving, right? And so then when is enough enough? When do we reach our goal, right? And when we have nothing? Our goal could be making $100,000. When we have that or if we have that, why is our next goal much higher, right? And there is something to be said about the ingenuity of humanity, the way that every single us can strive and change the world. But there's also something to be said for people just sitting down every once in a while and letting their feet, letting their feet, putting their feet up, calming and letting a real change happen because they defragmented for a little bit. I think sometimes, you know, just like how Superman says the redefines punk rock. I think the real flex here is contentment. I mean, if you could just sort of get out of your listener position here and enter into a new space, enter into the space of you and just understand that you can have a version of success that doesn't matter to anyone but you. And it can be the best thing that ever happened to you. You know, I mean, already you've probably let down 6 year old you because you're, you know, by and large, you're not a firefighter, you're not a pilot, you're not an astronaut. You know, most people can't do that because those are very small, very lauded professions. And so if you're an actuary out there or you're a lawyer, you clearly have achieved already. If you got out of bed this morning, or even if you're listening to this in bed, you still win. You're out here listening to a podcast about bettering yourself. Are you kidding me? Great job. I'm running out of time here, so I'll tell this real quick. I Went and saw Pete Holmes last weekend and hilarious. I loved every second of his show, Peter. But one moment he just was standing on the stage and he spoke to someone by name, and I forget what her name was, but he remembered it throughout the show. It was really cool. And he said, you know, he called her oh, Mom. What do you. Oh. And he said, oh, I don't want to boil you down to just a mom. And she, she took that back. She said, no, I'm a mom. And he said, you sit with that, you be that. And that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about allowing yourself to be proud of what you've done. Whether it is just listening to a podcast, which you are doing and are pretty much all the way through, or it's becoming what you've sought to become or worked to become, or you saw a sunrise, made someone else's day, remembered to call a friend or crazy, wrote a letter. Be proud of you. I say a lot of I see. Well, I say a lot of things on this podcast. Very few of them are definitive. But I'm telling you, if you can find a way to be proud of yourself, that's when you've arrived. Being proud of your achievements. It doesn't mean you don't keep working. You can, but you need to find a way to be just proud of who you are. All right, I am so glad that you have decided to join me this week on the Sort of Sure podcast. If you have a story of imposter syndrome or self doubt, go on, shoot me an email at sort of surepodmail.com and you can tell me all about your story. You can tell me you'd like to be interviewed. A few people have been on the podcast who sent me, who emailed me that way, and you can also just tell me if you like the show or if you don't. I'm always open for new and exciting ways to tell me that I can do better. Well, that's all I got for today. Later days.