Welcome to the Sword of Sure podcast. Where doubt looms, fear whispers, and the only way forward is through. I'm Samar Carbo and if you've ever felt like you're just sort of sure about what you're doing, you're not alone. This is where we face the uncertainty. Push past the hesitation, and keep going anyway way. So take a breath, step in, and let's move forward together.

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Welcome to the Sort of Sure Podcast. Once again, I'm Samar Carbo and I'm here to talk to you about Self Doubt Imposter Syndrome and getting past it. Today we're going to listen in on a conversation I had with Jay Carter, founder of Homeschool Yo Kids, a nonprofit focused on helping parents be the deciders when it comes to education for their own families. She describes it much better than I can, though, so let's have ourselves a listen.

I'm Jay Carter. I am the founder of Home for your Kids organization. I'm the developer of Home School youo Kids app, and I am the organizer of the many, many Home School youo Cares expos that take place around the country and also homeschool my kids. I guess at the beginning of everything because I had just moved to a whole new state with my two little people, had never been to Arizona before from Virginia. So you know, settling in and mind you, taking on the whole task of homeschooling full time, starting a new whatever it was that I was going to start, everything was really, really fresh. So questioning of okay, what are you doing this? What is this? This is a lot, mind you, I was like 40 pounds lighter and if you see me, like to know that I smaller than what I was, but I was like 40 pounds lighter than what I was. Well, what I am currently, I was not in a healthy state at all, like at all. But I was adamant about the choices that I was making because I was just listening. For real, in my opinion. I just was listening. And so I had to trust the process. That's one of my favorite sayings and I've been saying it since like 2020. I just trust the process.

You homeschool, you have the app, you have the expos all over the country, which I certainly want to get into a little bit later. But how do you keep yourself on top of all of that?

When I start my day, I start with a to do list. And I don't necessarily set out to do everything on the to do list. I just have to know that this is what's on the list and I Think really staying on top of everything is making sure I don't get burnt out. So I think that's the most important thing is me knowing when to shut it down. And of course my little people make me shut it down at certain times. Just making sure I find a balance in it all and making sure that it doesn't feel like work. Because when it feels like work, that's when I don't want to do it. I just make sure that I manage my time wisely and I make sure that I get up early to ensure that they still receive my the best version of me once they get up. But also to make sure I have time to myself. Because I think that's, that's what allows for the balance to take place is that I make sure in the morning that I have time to myself. Time to be like, I don't have a rush morning. I don't have a rushed life in general. Like I don't like to rush. I never like to rush. So making sure I stay in my tempo and keep on marching to the beat of my drum and no one else's, that is what allows for the level head approach to all that on my to do list.

Oh, that's amazing. So it sounds like you're saying there is no special thing, but it sounds like you do have a special thing in place and that you don't see it as special. Which is the best thing is to see what you need for you. Would you mind taking us through a morning by yourself?

Of course. So when we're at home in particular, because I'm not home right now, we spend a lot of time traveling. But when we are at home, I typically get up around 5:30 in the morning. My girls don't get up until like 10:30, 11:00 clock. So that allows me what, four and a half? I don't know, I don't do math all too well, but it allows me a lot of time by myself. So I wake up, of course, take a shower, I read, I stretch, I put on my tea, I drink vintage tea just about every morning. I write on my to do list and I listen to my good positive affirmation music that's also my playlist has gotten me through a lot. So that's like my, like my schedule. And then I get into whatever it is I'm going to get into. Most of everything that I do is on my laptop.

You're really trusting the process. So I think I know the answer to this, but has there ever been a time when you Thought you weren't up to the task. The fact that it's so much, it's a lot. And of course, I say that's not to bring you down, but to say that somebody else might be hoping to do as much as you are doing now one day. And so when this looks big to them, I want them to see it.

How you see it.

Did it feel like too much? And if so, what did you. How do you see that? How do you switch that around in the moment?

Oh, another great question. But yes. Look, I couldn't cut you off to say yes. Yes. No, it feels like a lot. Quite often, actually. However, like I said before, I know I'm supposed to be doing this, so if I had a doubt of what I was doing or if I wasn't listening to my source in what I'm doing, then it would be like, oh, I don't know if I could do this, but alignment is everything. And how these years, especially, like the last two panned out, because this is our third year of doing the Expos. My first year, like, how it started, like, as far as the very first Expo, total, total fail. Total, total, total fail. However, it was like, keep going, trust the process. Like, okay, it's okay. Like, you know, you set out a little bigger than you thought and boom, gotta be knocked down a little bit. But I'm gonna keep going. And so that's the thing. Like, it feels like a lot all the time, but I just have to keep telling myself, keep going, keep going. And that's why I share, too. Like, on my Facebook group, my homeschool Facebook group, I put a lot of positive things, but I'm always just reminding people, keep going. Like, I don't care how it feels, what it looks like, none of that. Keep going, keep down.

And so what does a total fail look like? What did that look like when it didn't work out?

A total fail looks like first losing a lot of money. Better losing a lot of money and then letting people down. Like, who I. You know, I don't like letting people down or people depending on me for something or me saying that I was going to do something or being able to do something and me not doing it. Like, I'm not used to that, and that's not my thing. It happened and I had to take it inside. I had to make a bunch of phone calls and talk to people personally and reimburse people. I had to do a lot of things to come out of that. I even had my. Because I. When I first started the nonprofit. I had a vice president and I had a co host on my podcast, but because of that major sale, she backed out on me. Like, she. She couldn't. She couldn't see past the pill. So she was like, oh, no, this. She left me. And so it's like, oh, stuck. But I gotta keep going. So I did. And.

And that is so big, too, because people will see it. They'll see the. And when that imposter syndrome voice is right behind you on your heels, and you walk into the expo and you say, this is going to be great, you get to the end of the day, and it was not great. A lot of people do what your co host did, your vice president did. They head to the hills because they say, this is what I was afraid of. I've been proven right. Better not try again. Yeah, living proof. You gotta try that.

You gotta keep going. Yes, Gotta keep going. Because we still went on to do seven whole expos our first year. Seven different states. And then the following year, we added and did 10 whole expos. 10 different states. Mind you, I'm doing most of this. My first year, I did it with another adult who me and her had just met during one of my weekly. I do a weekly community meetup with homeschool families. So if you homeschool every Wednesday, I do a weekly meetup and we just sit and chat. Either way, Ms. Glo came up there and we met on there and talked and talked and talked. And she lived. I live in Arizona, she lives all the way in South Carolina. She told me she was going to do the tour with me and she was going to get in my vehicle. The vehicle, like basically a stranger. Like, we hadn't known each other that long, but she got in my car and traveled around the country with me and my two girls. And this is an older lady. She's like in our 60s. So she's like a mother, paternal, you know, maternal figure. And I love and adore her. And she's like, will always be at the top of my list for any and everything. And she's actually about to get in the car with us again this year and go around to the rest of these states with us. So that's why I talk about the trusting of the process, because even though I had this person quit on me, I had someone else who was not as invested as this other person, but she stepped in and really took a leap of faith with me and was like, hey, I'm here. And she went to every state with us. And then last year, it was just me and my two girls that went to every state by ourselves in my lovely 2008 Chevy Equinox.

There you go. And you made it.

Yes, sir. With all types of lights on. Like, let's not put that. Let's put that there too. Let's not leave that out. I have a check engine light on. I have. And this is present, too. I have a brake light on. I have abs light. I have lights on. Okay. I'm the true definition of I'm a still doer.

That's right. Because they can't keep you off the road.

Yeah. No, no, because. Is it roll? It's still rolling. Oh, it's still. Oh, it still goes.

Oh.

Okay, we out of here.

Now.

When I hear all of that, I feel we've talked about you homeschooling your girls, we've talked about the expos, and we've talked about the nonprofit, and all of that sounds like a lot, but you also have an app. Can you mention that?

Oh, yes, the app. I'm not going to hold you. The app is what I neglect the most. Like, if I have to neglect the task, what would be the one that I neglect? It's a great app. It's home, school, your kids app. It's pretty available on Google and Apple, but it's a lot of tedious work. When I tell you that, I listen. When I first got to Arizona, I built that app within, I think, four months. Mind you, it's not from scratch. It's not a coded app. It's on the platform. I use billfire platform. So not some little, you know, genius over here. Nothing like that. That's just coding apps.

I think you have different definitions of a genius if you're not one of them.

But I did that, and I tell people all the time, I don't know how I put out my busy body. So I don't even know how I was able to sit and do and dedicate as much time as I did to building the foundation of that app. But I did, and the app is great. I have people tell me that they're using it when they come to the expos, and I have people reaching out, telling me, thank you. And so it's doing what it's supposed to do. And I'm grateful for it because when I left the classroom, that was the purpose of the app. When I left the classroom, I felt I took a lot of guilt with me because I love my students. I love being there with them. I love teaching, I love all of that. However, I don't like the way that the system is set up so that it doesn't really allow people to excel in the manner that they are able to. So I was just really big on, okay, how am I going to reach families now that I'm not in the classroom? That was the main thing. Like, okay, I still want to help kids. I still want to make sure that families are supporting. How do I do that? And so that's how the app came about. There's encouragement in that field, but it's also just an educational resource in general. So there's a lot of different educational resources. There's micro schools up there, there's virtual schools. It's just a whole bunch of different resources that families can tap into to support their educational journey. So my whole thing is making sure that families are confident in the choices that they're making. So I feel the confidence is built through the more informed that you are. And so I'm just supplying people with a plethora of information and resources that they can reach out and look into and, you know, contact people and just find what they're looking for to support their journey, whatever that may be. So even if you're in a traditional school setting, you could still use the home for your kids at.

Because it all starts at home.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. You have to be the leading factor in your children's education. That is. I feel like it was a big factor that I was missing in my classrooms was that parents were not as involved as I thought they could be or should be. And of course, for many different reasons. You know, who knows all the reasons? But I just know that that's something that kids need. Like little people need their parents to be involved in their education, no matter the setting.

What's one piece of advice you would have for somebody who's struggling with imposter syndrome out there?

Do it anyways. Do it anyways. I don't care what you feel it because it was brought to you for a reason. Like it was put on you for a reason, whatever, however it came to you, do it. Do it. Like, trust the process. How I started. Trust the process. Trust the process. You are doing what you're supposed to be doing. And if it, if it wasn't meant to be done by you, then it wouldn't have came to you. So do it. Do it anyway.

I absolutely love that, and I know that that confidence has to be hard won, but it sounds, it feels like that.

The.

The way you say it feels like a magic trick. And I love to hear that.

Because.

I talked to very obviously, you know, knowing the subject matter, I talked to very few people who are as themselves as you are and as comfortable and confident. So it's great to hear these do it anyways and trust the processes because we all have those low times. But those sorts of mantras are the things that keep us going when the low times come.

Yes, sir. Thank you so much.

All right, bye now.

If today's conversation sparked something in you, whether it was the tension between calling and capacity or that quiet war between vision and inner critic, I hope you'll take it as a sign you are not alone. And you're not wrong for feeling this way. You're just early in your evolution. If you have a story you'd like to share, go ahead and send it on over to sortofsurepodmail.com I will be happy to discuss your story with you. And even if you don't want to get on the air, feel free to reach out and we can discuss your story. Check out the Show Notes for some information on how to reach out to Jay to get more information about how she does what she does. In addition, we've got ourselves a readiness quiz. See if you're ready to go ahead and homeschool your own kids. Just check that out on my site and that'll get you on over to her, too. Also remember, there are eight previous episodes to check out, so if this is your first listen, go ahead and check out the others. We are so pleased to have more down the pike for you. Every Friday, 8am Eastern. We've got a new podcast dropping for you folks later days.